... I do think Anders can struggle when someone isn't in front of him. He only just recently wrote to me too, even though I can tell there was so much more that he wanted to say besides what was on the page.
[ just squeezes hawke's arm reassuringly ]
... do you tell him? That you keep his letters close to you in your armor, so that you might shorten the distance between you the slightest bit.
Perhaps... it is a bit overly romantic and some might call it sappy.
But sometimes... I think words when you least expect them are what heals the heart the most.
No one else can particularly claim hawk feathers as theirs.
But yes, he knows it was me.
[ sighs so wearily ]
He never did answer about what he'd like to do after this was over. I thought about traveling, leaving Thedas to it's current heroes but maker only knows if Anders could leave.
[ in his incredibly important opinion/point in time, the mages have reached a point they can do the rest on their own but we all know anders doesn't see it that way ]
I don't think there is anything wrong with having more loves than one, and for those loves to be hopes and ambitions instead of people. Love isn't a finite resource, there's always more of it to find.
[ . . . ]
Even so.
Some loves are greater than others, and... I do think that's the case for you both. To determine where your loves align or deviate.
[ softly but firmly, as he once again squeezes hawke's hand ]
I understand the urge but... I do not think you the type of person to take a backseat to your own life. Is this not part of the reason why Anders might be feeling neglected, like you are not fighting for him?
Drink and ale cannot soothe anxieties, only drown them... and you deserve a life better served afloat.
... I think that when you love so dearly, it becomes frightening to take it into your own hands. To make choices and know that you are part of either your own salvation or ruin.
However... letting it pass on without you—that's only going to lead to more regrets, my friend. I can't let you do that to yourself.
... I'm not going to guess what Anders is going to say but... I do hope that everything works out. And if nothing else... I hope you can say without a doubt that you were able to express every last bit of your love.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Do you really believe that?
[ confused, wondering, from someone who has only thought about the way that love could solve all his problems ]
no subject
He certainly hasn't been receptive to my attempts.
no subject
no subject
[ he pulls out the latest one out of his armor, showing
I think if you cared about me, you'd choose to defend me instead of whatever it is you're choosing to do now.
it's not even emotionshare week but the stormcloud over his head is basically visible at this point ]
When haven't I defended him...? I can't be everywhere at once. He knows this.
no subject
... I do think Anders can struggle when someone isn't in front of him. He only just recently wrote to me too, even though I can tell there was so much more that he wanted to say besides what was on the page.
[ just squeezes hawke's arm reassuringly ]
... do you tell him? That you keep his letters close to you in your armor, so that you might shorten the distance between you the slightest bit.
Perhaps... it is a bit overly romantic and some might call it sappy.
But sometimes... I think words when you least expect them are what heals the heart the most.
no subject
[ mages and dreams tend to be questionably bad combos anyway ]
But I haven't...not to any degree since that first week we were separated.
I tried my hand at poetry, you know? Absolutely awful nugshite but I figured it would be a nice gesture.
[ takes a minute to poor and down another shot ]
I don't think he liked it very well.
no subject
[ so funny ]
... we will be seeing him again, at the very least. You should talk about what's going to come after this, for both of you.
no subject
But yes, he knows it was me.
[ sighs so wearily ]
He never did answer about what he'd like to do after this was over. I thought about traveling, leaving Thedas to it's current heroes but maker only knows if Anders could leave.
[ in his incredibly important opinion/point in time, the mages have reached a point they can do the rest on their own but we all know anders doesn't see it that way ]
no subject
... would you love him enough to stay?
no subject
[ but the knowledge there is Better out there, and adventures no Ferelden will ever see would eat at him and they both know it ]
no subject
But it's not your first inclination.
[ thoughtfully, quietly ]
no subject
No.
no subject
I don't think there is anything wrong with having more loves than one, and for those loves to be hopes and ambitions instead of people. Love isn't a finite resource, there's always more of it to find.
[ . . . ]
Even so.
Some loves are greater than others, and... I do think that's the case for you both. To determine where your loves align or deviate.
no subject
I've only ever wished him to be happy. I know very well how difficult Justice makes it some days but surely it's possible.
[ and quietly, miserably ]
I am so tired of watching him die.
no subject
no subject
[ looks at him, eyebrows raised. there's a vague air of have you met the man? ]
He's rather infamous for destroying the chantry even all these years later. The amount of people who still cry for his head on a pike is not small.
no subject
I guess... then it's just whether or not he thinks that same cause is worth dying for. [ and knowing anders, he. does feel like he knows the answer ]
... I'm sorry, Garrett. It sounds like a really tough situation, even love being involved.
no subject
Why do you think I've been drinking so heartily? The less I worry about it the more likely it'll figure itself out without me.
[ IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT BUT OKEI ]
no subject
[ softly but firmly, as he once again squeezes hawke's hand ]
I understand the urge but... I do not think you the type of person to take a backseat to your own life. Is this not part of the reason why Anders might be feeling neglected, like you are not fighting for him?
Drink and ale cannot soothe anxieties, only drown them... and you deserve a life better served afloat.
no subject
Perhaps, I have been running away from more than just Kirkwall.
no subject
However... letting it pass on without you—that's only going to lead to more regrets, my friend. I can't let you do that to yourself.
no subject
Doesn't that sound like experience?
[ that said ]
I suppose it'll all come ahead sooner or later. I've already lost him once, twice almost, surely I can convince him the third time is the charm.
no subject
I think... it can be worth trying, instead of just sitting back and letting your beloved run into the flames of Hades on his own.
[ . . . ]
But at the same time, as hard it is, I hope that whatever comes... you don't blame yourself.
no subject
I'd like to try. I want to try. I simply don't know what to do if he says no.
[ wryly ]
Run off to the stars, I suppose.
no subject
yves will just squeeze his hand gently ]
... I'm not going to guess what Anders is going to say but... I do hope that everything works out. And if nothing else... I hope you can say without a doubt that you were able to express every last bit of your love.
To at least move forward without regrets.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)